Summer Training Camp: 16th-22nd September 2007, Warslow, Peak District
By Liam Richardson
At the beginning of September, many Cambridge students' minds turn towards thoughts of the test of endurance and alcoholic tolerance that is freshers' week. Not so for those among the small but intrepid band of Hareys attending this year's September training camp. What follows is a blow-by-blow account of their exploits as they attempted to etch the name of the Leslie Johnson Activities Centre, Warslow, into H&H training camp legend.
Sunday 16th
The inhabitants of Warslow awoke on a peaceful Sunday morning blissfully unaware that across the country, Hareys were planning the descent upon their village for a week-long maelstrom of running, eating, resting and drinking. At around 2pm, the vanguard, consisting of John Redshaw, Harriet Owles and Liam Richardson arrived. In a break with recent training camp orthodoxy, the accommodation proved deceptively easy to find, so much so in fact that John felt compelled to ask for directions (for the sake of good form) while standing right in front of the centre, which was, admittedly, rather cunningly disguised as a Victorian schoolhouse. Slowly but surely other happy campers began to arrive, some training camp stalwarts, and other relative newcomers. However, there were none so new as American import David Yu, who 24 hours prior to arriving alongside Rich Mathie and Andy Duncan, had been the other side of the Atlantic, in Chicago. All, however, were able to marvel at the table tennis and pool table resident in the centre, which meant that Lee Harper's poker chips and cards would not play such a big part as in previous training camps.
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| Home, sweet home (for a week) |
Priorities were quickly established, and a group set out on a run to locate various landmarks in the village, most notably a pub. Thus were the first points of the camp notched up. This quest for points was aided somewhat by Polly Keen's inability to remember exactly where she had seen a sign for the pub (aptly named the Hare and Greyhound), which resulted in the group running away from the pub for quite a while. However, the pub was duly located, and, after Lee got to show off his culinary skills with a pasta and sausage casserole sauce concoction, the group headed pub-wards.
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| The kitchen crew at work... |
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| ...and everyone tucks in to the fruit of their labours |
Some used every minute of available drinking time to rack up extra points, while others were more relaxed and preferred to soak up the atmosphere. Upon return to the centre, the more sensible members of the club retired to bed, while the less sensible remained awake awhile. It was during this period that a bout of borderline libellous vandalism occurred on Captain Andy D's lovingly prepared 'Wall of Stuff'. However, I couldn't possibly say who the main culprit was, or what exactly was written (suffice to say it must have seemed amusing at the time).
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| Outside the pub. |
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| The Wall of Stuff. |
Monday 17th
Monday saw the cogs of the training camp juggernaut start spinning in earnest. Lee Harper, Rich Mathie and Andy Duncan were fastest out of the blocks, managing to wake up and depart at 8am for a steady run. A more substantial group set out at a far more reasonable time. Maybe if they'd set out at an earlier hour, however, they could have avoided being mysteriously transported far from the circular route they were running, and being deposited in an entirely different area of the map. Thankfully, a helpful courier van driver was on hand to set us right. Another run went out later in the afternoon, on a mission to find the pub in the next village (the H&G being closed Mondays). Also awaiting discovery was an old-school village store, of the sort that are essentially the owner's house, which was to prove useful later in the week.
Upon return, the damp (it had poured down during the run) runners had a surprise waiting for them. John Redshaw, ably filling the role of resident injured runner, had purchased some alcoholic beverages along with the food supplies. That wasn't the end of the surprises though! Along with the food and drink, three copies of the Daily Express had appeared, alongside strict exhortations from Andy to keep them intact. After dinner (a Redshaw special vegetable curry), the mystery was lifted. Our noble captain had devised a team-building exercise that involved blindfolding one member of the team who then had to reassemble a jumbled-up newspaper into the correct order, relying on direction from their compatriots. Despite Lee's best efforts (see quotes), the team of Harriet Owles, Jane Mackey and Liam Richardson cruised to a comfortable win. However, the lack of any scientific bent among the victors meant that the tables were turned in the next challenge, which saw Rich prove the excellence of Cambridge engineers by creating a splendid paper erection which towered over all-comers in the 'how high can you go contest'.
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| Rich Mathie under the hoodie, as John Redshaw and Jamie Brunning give direction. |
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| Add your own caption for this one. |
With an increased feeling of team spirit, less formal games commenced, namely word association and one-word story. In the interests of decency, it's probably best I don't go into too much detail regarding the games, but will content myself by saying that the players received a mental image of Andy and 'John's friend the whip' that is best consigned to the memory's waste bin.
Tuesday 18th
Tuesday dawned in Warslow with Harey running fervour unabated for the most part, with the exception of Jamie Brunning, whose inner triathlete showed as he went on a sixty-mile cycle ride, and one that tested his mapless navigational skills to the utmost. Thankfully for the fiscal stability of the club, our Junior Treasurer returned neither visibly shaken nor stirred. Meanwhile, the presence of the sun lured those in the centre outside for a spot of frisbee-based piggy in the middle. The regular necessity to vault the garden wall in pursuit of a rogue frisbee, a sprinkling of 'hospital passes', the treacherous trajectory of the frisbee, and general mal-coordination all contributed to a rather thrilling way to pass the time, with the valuable lesson learned: don't throw to Polly Keen if you intend avoiding becoming a piggy in the middle.
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| Typical frisbee action. Note frisbee on floor. |
Later on, Cap'n Duncan revealed the mean streak that will be needed
in the build up to Varsity, as he inflicted a painful reps session on
the camp, using the village school's playing fields he had clocked
earlier in the week. These days, loitering near a school can see you
locked up, and there was doubtlessly moments during the 6 x 2 mins with
90s recovery when pain-stricken runners wished that fate on their
captain. A straightjacket
That evening saw Harey numbers boosted by the arrival of Aidan Brown. The only proper way to celebrate seemed to be by going to the pub, and attempting to squeeze another person into the circle around a small table. Upon closing time and return to our centre, an impromptu sports massage service emerged, with Polly, Jamie and Rich Mathie doing most of the work, alongside eager apprentices such as Simon Gilbert. For a better idea of the goings on, see the quotes section.
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| Rich enjoying his massage |
Wednesday 19th
Rich Mathie had been plotting an epic run to Dovedale for much of Tueday, and Wednesday saw his plans realised. So daunting was the prospect of the run that two hours were spent attempting to find the least painful option before the courage was plucked up to set out and tackle the beast. With the comforting prospect of John Redshaw and his car at Dovedale to pick up those unwilling to press on, the group sallied forth. Pausing awhile to visit Thor's Cave (he wasn't in) and to play on a zip-slide in an adventure playground en-route, the group crossed the stepping stones at Dovedale thoroughly damp, more so in certain cases due to fun and frolics in the river. In the car park, the wondrous vista of John's car was revealed, although with John not actually present, it was to prove a bit of a momentary mirage. John soon showed up, though, and the food, drink and dry clothing in his car were distributed. Crunch time then arrived, with everyone having to decide whether to seek the sanctuary of John's car or to push on. Rich, accompanied by Liam Richardson and Simon Gilbert set off on the second leg. Fortified with sustenance from John, we watched as his car, filled to 'capacity' set off back to Warslow, leaving us with just an increasingly soggy map for company. Approximately 1 h 40 later, we returned thoroughly wet, cold and exhausted, bowed yet unbeaten, having taken everything the Peak District could throw at us, and racked up an invaluable 19 points each.
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| Aidan and Rich by Thor's Cave |
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| Rich exploring a crevice. No jokes please. |
Several Hareys, lead by Jamie, enjoyed the delights of Buxton's swimming pool, even if their session turned out to be less intense than originally planned. Another bed in the centre became occupied as last year's captain Claire Day arrived. Dinner was another brainchild of John. However, thoughts were turning to tomorrow's dinner, which had been arranged at the Hare and Greyhound. As we had to take our meal choices to the pub, it seemed natural to stay there and notch up a few more points (well, it would have been rude not to).
Thursday 20th
Just in case we had not seen enough hills already, Captain Andy D decided to throw in a dedicated hill session, again in a spot he had earmarked early in the week. The session consisted of 3 x 'big hill' (45s'60s), and 4'8 x 'small hill' (25'30s). Yet again, Lee Harper and David Yu decided that such a session was too easy, and so launched themselves into 2 x 5 x 'big hill'. Andy, Rich Mathie and Jamie Brunning set off on a 20 minute warm down. Thus one can imagine the surprise when, 45 minutes later, Andy finally returned back at the centre, sans Rich and Jamie. The reason? Rich and Jamie, in a fit of insanity had embarked upon a much longer run, Andy only managing to escape from their clutches as they declared their intention to run up Sugarloaf (a local peak). That ended the bulk of the running for the day, although Claire Day did lead a group out for a walk later on. It was today that numbers peaked in the centre, with the arrival of Lauren Barklie.
Thus the scene was set for a nice calm meal in the pub. Or not. The first inkling of trouble came when Rich calculated that, based on our rate of pint consumption so far, we could expect to be sinking roughly 21 pints in the time we were there. Although, thankfully, we did not hit these dizzy heights, the alcohol was free-flowing, John Redshaw even finding double vodkas appearing mysteriously in his drink! The food was good in any case, and come closing time, we straggled down the hill towards our centre.
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| Jane Mackey and Polly Keen contemplate the wine list |
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| The calm before the storm. |
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| John Redshaw takes a moment to compose himself in the pub toilets. |
Shortly after, all hell broke loose. Certain members of the club, who would probably wish to remain anonymous, suddenly found the contents of their stomachs making surprise reappearances. The carnage had to be seen to be believed. Indeed, the scene proved so traumatic for Simon Gilbert that he woke up in the morning to find it completely erased from his memory. Hmm.
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| A 'traumatised' Simon Gilbert. |
It says a lot that relative calm was to be found in the confines of the cereal box game, in which limbs stiff from the best part of a week's hard training proved to be the downfall of many a competitor.
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| Aidan Brown looks on in awe as Lee Harper successfully negotiates another round of the cereal box game. |
Friday 21st
Friday dawned all too early for some people regretting the excesses
of the previous night. This, along with the less-than-friendly weather
kept the day's mileage down to a minimal level. Today also saw the
departure of Harriet Owles and Jane Mackey, both of whom had to make
early getaways and avoid the big clean-up on
Saturday
Saturday 22nd
And so, as all things come to pass, so did this training camp. Saturday morning passed in a daze of cleaning, mopping, hoovering, emptying of bins and so on. With a division of labour raising productivity to levels that would have had Adam Smith in raptures, we were ready to depart by midday. And so we did, some back to Cambridge, where two Hare and Hounds teams were assembling for the Chariots of Fire relays the following day, others to different corners of the country.
Epilogue
As can be seen from the point sheet, no-one managed to scale the dizzy heights of triple figures in the points stakes. Nevertheless, there were still notable performances. Although it goes against the author's sense of modesty to point this out, there is no escaping that the closest to the 100 point total was Liam Richardson, with 85. Runner-up was Rich Mathie, with 63. Highly commended are Jamie Brunning, with 58, which doesn't include his epic 60-mile bike ride, and Simon Gilbert, 'tapering' for the Berlin Marathon with 40 miles out of a total of 54 points, coming off the back of a half-marathon prior to arriving at camp. Leading the female race was Polly Keen with 33.
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Credits
Thanks go to:
- John Redshaw, Harriet Owles, Andy Duncan for organisation;
- John, Lee Harper and Jamie Brunning for transportation;
- John for his general domestic duties, along with everyone who cooked, etc.;
- Jamie Brunning and Andy Duncan for photography.
Quotes of the Week
'Rich, you're sh*t!' -- Lee Harper's motivational encouragement
to his team in the Daily Express Challenge.
'That is Ben Hope, he looks so much like a vampire.' --
John Redshaw, while looking at pictures on Andy's
laptop
'John, I'm happy to fulfil your desire.' -- Lee Harper
'Jamie, you've just done a guy! -- Polly Keen
at the massage session
'More lube please, Simon! -- Andy Duncan, again at the
massage session
'It's two inches if you measure it.' -- Andy Duncan
'What are we talking about here?' -- Jamie Brunning
'Don't worry, that's girth.' -- AD
'Is that caused by track running.' -- John Redshaw
'My fly's undone. I think we should go to bed.' -- Andy Duncan
'Has someone put something in this drink? -- John
Redshaw
'I had a dream about the wall outside last night.' -- Simon
Gilbert
'That wasn't a dream, Simon.' --
Andy Duncan
'I'm really pumped now. I'm going to do 5 press-ups.' --
Andy Duncan in Oxford-bashing mood