The CUH&H Annual Dinner 2009

By Polly Keen

The Hare and Hounds Annual Dinner 2009, located in Gonville and Caius College, promised to be a splendid affair as always. Having transformed ourselves from sweaty, windswept, tracksuited athletes to refined, polished and black-tie attired gentlemen and ladies since the Roman Road Run earlier in the day, we gathered for pre-dinner drinks of champagne. The epitome of society, we mingled and chatted in our sober state until we were called to the hall for dinner.

We took our seats according to Simon Gilbert's very thoughtfully arranged seating plan and awaited the delicious food that was to come. A starter of tandori chicken, a fish course of red snapper, a main course of roast sirloin of beef and a dessert of profiteroles tantalised our taste buds as we revelled in the company of those around us. As the meal progressed and the wine flowed, predictably the decorum in the hall gradually decreased. Paper aeroplanes made their way up to high table from the other end of the room, suspiciously similar to those thrown in Dr Lasenby's lectures leaving little doubt over the culprit (who should know better by now!) Then it was on to the speeches...

Tim Pattison, in his role as Secretary, thanked everyone for coming and spoke especially enthusiastically about Cheshire Tally Ho (from his home county). The Cheshire Tally Ho speaker then replied with some amusing stories which I'm not sure everyone quite "got". James Kelly gave the traditional Captain's speech which surprisingly did nothing to rival the endurance of his running ability. At just over 13 minutes in length, murmurs then booing erupted around the hall as it was announced that Emily Alden (Captain's WAG) had emerged victorious in the sweepstake competition. Polly Keen, as Women's Captain, gave her version of the Hare and Hounds year from the girls' team's perspective. The following awards were then presented to some of the year's exceptional runners.

Awards. In Summary:

Comedy Awards

James Chettle and Robin Brown (delightfully dressed in a tutu and bra to compensate for the missing female press officer) then gave a fantastic presentation of the Comedy Awards, which according to Claire Day were "a lot dirtier this year than [she] can ever remember"!

Then came the very exciting "SHARK OF THE YEAR"...

• Matt Grant (for his smooth sharking of a certain female piece of shark bite)
• Rich Mathie (for his very literal sharking)
• Polly Keen (a charity case nomination really... aw bless!)
• Emily Alden (see Shark Bite award); Nominee also received an ASBO for 'Being too sexually demanding' as well as a carrot to keep her predatory energy levels high.
• Will Mackay (for his "globe-trotting" hands); Nominee also got a 'grow your own boobs' to keeps his hands out of trouble, which apparently worked quite well on the night.

Winner: Polly Keen

The final announcement of the evening was the highly anticipated award for Animal of the Year. The nominees were Naomi Taschimowitz for her excellent running performances (plus a reasonable participation in the Hare and Hounds sharking world) and James Chettle for his mammoth efforts in training (especially the vocal efforts in circuits) and a fantastic improvement shown (plus more than sufficient drunken antics). However, this year's winner has had plenty of storming races, trained like a beast and potentially drunk like one even more so. Just before the award was announced, he had set fire to some of Chris Bannon's seaweed and was shoving the rest in his mouth! Animal of the Year 2008-2009 was Will Mackay.

It was then on to the Caius MCR bop for the Harey party to continue to thrive. We danced to our hearts' content and quenched our thirst with more alcohol as we strutted our stuff. It was here that a certain newly formed H&H couple started to look inseparable and another long term sharking contender set his eyes on some new prey for the night. Dancing styles of runners vary tremendously: some seem to have a habit of lifting others up during the dancing (which, from experience, can result in bruised ribs and/or embarrassment from being unable to lift the person); others prefer the backwards walk. Overall though, we all had a great party, and before we knew it, the music died.

Being cross country runners, plenty of us had the stamina for more following the bop so it was onto James Chettle's room (in Clare) to finish his bottle of vodka. Here, we once again mingled and chatted, though in a much less dignified manner than we had started the evening. I believe a certain someone "relieved himself" in the wrong bathroom utility. Also, two people's faces seemed to be glued together all the time we were there. There was probably some very tuneful singing going on too. Unfortunately, the task of finishing the vodka was taken up a little too enthusiastically by only two members of the group, who didn't fare too well for what was left of the night.

As had become traditional since the year Polly Keen won the award, the annual dinner is the occasion for the newly crowned animal to get as ridiculously inebriated as possible. I'm proud to say that Will carried on this tradition with style, causing plenty of carnage flailing his long limbs while dancing, some rather undignified sharking and imbibing massive quantities of alcohol (including most of the bottle of vodka).

The other casualty of the night was, rather appropriately, one of the nominees for Animal of the Year. Mr Chettle did, to his credit, make it out of Clare and to Gardies (though with a fair amount of support). Alas, from here he only made it back to a kind medic's room, carried by a fairly incompetent walking ambulance. Here, he collapsed til morning, though not without decorating a few caring friends with the contents of his stomach.

After the party had departed from Clare, we dispersed - some in the "Chettle ambulance" and most homeward (though whether to their own college is still open to gossip). Apparently a thrilling piggyback race happened over Orgasm Bridge on the way. James Kelly takes up the narrative here...

"Claire Day, with Rich Mathie as her noble steed, stole a march and got out to a pretty good lead. Matt Armstrong jumped on my back and we tried to chase them down, pulling level just at the end of Garret Hostel Lane. We were lining up for a sprint finish when Rich M went for the sabotage tactic and bodychecked us into the wall! Fortunately, he and Claire were knocked off course as well, and we resolved to call it a draw. Harriet was giving us abuse for carrying Matt, so I guess you could say there was a hostile atmosphere! It probably also explains why I had a random cut on my knee on Sunday morning..."

And so, another fantastic Hare and Hounds year was over, celebrated by what was, for most, a fantastic evening with great memories. Next year promises to be just as epic, with plenty of mud and hills and light blue glory on the way...

Last modified: Tuesday May 05 2009 23:19:24