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day to Athletics Varsity

VIIIth CUH&H Chunder Mile

By Philip Scard

I actually have very little idea of what happened at this year's Chunder Mile, the reasons for which are two-fold, and deserve some explanation. Firstly it was very dark and, perhaps mercifully, therefore very hard to see runners any more than a few feet away, and even then the presence of an intervening pint glass or column of vomit conspired to make identification, let alone any assessment of their progress, somewhat tricky. Secondly I was rather more occupied than usual with the difficulties racing the event. The latter is quickly explained - not only had my training been somewhat lax since the 2006 championship, but the ever growing profile of the event and the new bonus of a trophy ('The Philip Scard Trophy' - called such by way of getting my name on it one additional time) drew out the largest and most competitive field in the history of the event. The former reason for my present ignorance is founded in last year's race. To be questioned by police officers once in an afternoon might be considered unfortunate, but twice... Conducting an event involving 40 pints of beer and an array of traffic paraphernalia in broad daylight and plain view of the City Police headquarters might be called asking for trouble, so this year the race migrated to the more isolated terrain of Jesus Green and to the cover of darkness.

What do I know? The event saw a record entry, with 14 racers (up from 11) including 2 ladies (up from 1) of which 9 were attempting the event for the first time. It's always hard to compare times between years because of the fluctuating distances, but despite this year's course being appreciably close to an imperial mile (as opposed to the last couple of years) times were kept down my a marked improvement in drinking ability, surely testament to a successful year for the club! Eight runners consumed the 4 imperial pints (the same size every year) in under 4 minutes, up from four last year, with Lee knocking 34 seconds off, myself shaving 25, and Helen a whopping 3 minutes 24 seconds, which just goes to show the value of 12 months of good drinking. The front of the field didn't take long to settle down; I held with Rich till the end of the first run, but then the benefits of being a serious runner really started to kick in, steadily stretching Rich's lead to the final 61s and a new club record. Behind me Lee had a steady start on his first pint but brought a new level of control to his race, bringing himself up to the front runners after the second run, and thereafter clawing a bit more from the runs than he was hit with on the pints. A similar improvement next year would see him slipping under 6 minutes... Jamie debuted with a wild run behind him, his pint/run ratios fluctuating ever more wildly till on the last set he recorded a 56s pint followed by a 66s run, the fastest of the day to snatch back 4th place. The Caius team was completed by Ian who kept in the front of the race with steady pacing, fluctuating only 11s across the runs, to keep ahead of the new Club Captain. What Andy did is somewhat mysterious, but I've used some imagination to fill in the gaps in what we do know. His apparently spectacular clearances during the run may have been more hindrance than help, seeing him beaten by his new Junior Treasurer. Down in the thick of things, Liam was let down in a big way by a poor showing at the beer, having achieved a phenomenal result on the runs, but after a steady start saw a swift climb up the positions. Helen also benefited from the experience of last year, rising from last place up to 10th, and only just slipping back at the finish. Rich Lebon spent his time in the ladies race, and was first competitor whose pint times outsized his running, which was itself quite respectable. The back of the field was occupied with a challenge match. Right from the start Cat was unable to quite get in contention with rival Warwick. She dropped behind her fellow female competitor during the second pint, and despite his stupendous hurling, a 6 minute pint sealed her fate as 14th finisher.

There, so it turns out I can do a great deal of bluffing based just on the results splits (they do take long enough to collate). For all I know Elvis may have appeared half way through, drunk one of Lee's pints and given Liam a piggy-back before slipping over someone's bile and being arrested by two coppers hiding in the bushes, but it was dark and I didn't see him.

Special awards:

Course records: Men - 5:06 (Richard Ward, 2007 *NEW*), Ladies - 12:18 (Helen Mort, 2007 *NEW*)